Why I Haven’t Finished Reading The First Book

Part of it is laziness. Hell, it’s been more than a year and I’m stuck on chapter… I don’t even know what chapter I left off on. I have some excuses to throw out there. First of all, from November to May I actually was working, so the title of this blog didn’t seem relevant anymore. Of course, I could have kept it to be ironic and to keep cranking out my chapter summaries. I hated my job. Every day I came home and I just wanted to sleep. I tried not to complain. Working is sometimes better than being homeless, and not all of us could write up a huge marketing juggernaut like Stephanie Meyer did.

The last Twilight films are coming out, and that doesn’t leave me much time to trudge through the last few chapters of the first book. It’s difficult. As I recall reading Twilight is like swimming in a pool full of those South American fish that like to swim up into urethrae. Hold tight. I have to review everything before going on because I forgot just about everything about this book. What have Bella and Edward been up to, other than being annoying and vapid and just all up in each other’s shit? We will soon find out.